lonely

I HATE BEING ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

apa ini???
padahal it's been a long time i can handle this...
and usually it doesn't matter of being alone eventhough for several days..
and it's not 24 hours yet..

sure, i believe..there's a time when people get sensitive and need someone,
well in fact, i don't need anyone..
i'll hurt that person..and just create another problem..
it's okay if i can solve it..realistically i can't..
and i must be a little bit mature..
and make sure i don't need anyone to be hurt..
just because i'm in the bad mood..

sometimes i hate became myself now on..
i was a strong little girl..
and i realize i only can sorry for that..

i saw my self in the mirror..
and i really proud of myself..
i was weak in everyone's vision..
but indeed i really know how to make myself comfort..

and now, again, i see my reflection..
and my eyes turn to red..
and my head is like ready to blow up..
and still i don't know what to do..

then he call me..
and in any case..no one can live alone..

mulai lelah

tak berharap lebih..
tak inginkan pamrih..
hanya ingin kelunakan hati..
egois tak meninggi..

selalu tahu menjatuhkanku..
dari tingginya angkuhku..
tak sepenuhnya ku mengerti..
hanya membuat kecil hati..

pun belum bosan..
dengan sejuta alasan..
mulai malas..
harap tak melebihi batas..

hanya menunggu seorang berkata..
banyak yang lebih baik diluar sana..
bisaku mengumbar nasihat..
tapi diri sendiri tak kuat..
karena selalu dianggap jahat..

ingin meluap..
tak berharap kalap..
serba salah..
tambah masalah..

hanya bisa bergumam..
tak ingin semakin runyam..

karena ujung2nya pasti gw lagi yg salah...